Doors To Mirrors (Excerpt 56) Forget
Shaking with nervousness, Nadja begins to tear up as she walks back to the kitchen and once again looks outside. It is always like this, the disagreement, the apologies, the week of good behavior, the kindness in his words and voice. Once that span of time is up, the fear, disappointment and mental abuse starts all over again, and she knows she cannot continue like this.
“No Aaron, I cannot talk right now.” She mutters as she sets her phone back down on the small table in the kitchen.
Walking to her aunt’s bedroom, Nadja picks up the last four journals her aunt used, including the one she added entries to the night she died. Wiping the tears from her eyes that seem to flow too easily when thinking of Aaron, Nadja sits on her aunt’s bed and looks down at the muted colors of the four books in her hands.
“I know something in here will help me, Auntie.” Nadja whispers as another stray tear begins to roll down her cheek. “I know your dreams guided you and many times you helped me, I doubt this time will be any different.”
She glances up at the bedroom window that looks out at the front path to the cottage. Through the pale lace curtains, she focuses on the little picket fence that creates a small garden area, but even beyond the open gate, the beauty of nature and freedom is all around. Just being here makes Nadja feel liberated, to some extent. Instead of feeling lost and alone, even when surrounded by people, this place helps her feel stronger.
Thinking about the call and message from Aaron, she knows at any other time she would have answered on the first ring. There would have been desperation within her to hear his voice and then she would go running straight into his arms. Yet, this was not the case today, not here in the place where she can be who she is without judgment or demands from others, especially from a dominant selfish man full of hate.
Opening the oldest journal of the four, she leans her back against the headboard of her aunt’s bed and begins to read the entries. Most are funny due to her aunt’s way of seeing the world and with such a jovial disposition, it was hard for her not to imagine every glass half full if not flowing over. Nadja does not realize how many times she smiles and even laughs aloud as she follows along with her beloved aunt’s writings. She does know one thing, it is definitely a great way to take her mind off Aaron and forget about her troubles for a while.
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