Doors To Mirrors (Excerpt 130) True
“Nadja! Oh good god, Nadja!” Carl yells as he enters the factory.
“Well good grief, Carl. What has you so worked up?” Nadja grins as she comes out of the back room to see what the commotion is all about.
“He is here, I saw his smug self at the restaurant and worse. . . Oh dear.” Carl says before he hesitates. “I. . . ” he pauses, “I let it slip you are staying here.”
Nothing could dishearten Nadja’s security as much as this statement from Carl. The one place where she thought she could hide is now well-known. She cannot be angry with this loveable man though. He has done nothing but be compassionate and helpful. She knows this is her fault. She is the one who has not stood up to Aaron to put an end to this ridiculous game.
“Oh please forgive me my dear.” Carl says as he pulls Nadja into a tight hug. “Josie would be so angry with me right now for blabbing your whereabouts out in the open like that.”
“Carl, it is alright. I know I must stop this mess between Aaron and myself.” She looks up at this big loveable man. “Aaron has been texting me, calling me, and I do believe he has been to the cottage.” She looks down at her phone. “I’m going to tell him this is over.”
Her tone is almost sad and melancholy as she turns away from Carl and walks up the spiral staircase to the small apartment. Tugging at her are the same mixed emotions that have taunted her since she walked away from Aaron. To have him chasing her feels exciting, but with all the soul-searching she has been doing since the night she left him, points her in a different direction.
Time and time again this game has been played, he is sweet and kind, loving and almost doting. Just when she begins to think Aaron has softened, his nasty behavior and demeaning words return. She knows this is his way to control her, to ruin her self-esteem and to cause her to believe she is not worthy of anyone better.
“I know his tricks, but my heart keeps pushing for another chance.” Nadja says to herself as she begins to type a reply to Aaron’s last message.
“Aaron, I know you are here, I know you think I will go back to the city with you but the truth is, you are toxic to me.” She pauses, feeling bad about saying such a thing, but she leaves her words as they are. “Please leave here and do so without hurting anyone. You do not love me, I know this, and you will find someone else and when you do, let her love you.” Tears begin to form in her eyes. “Not every woman is your mother, who you despise so much. Please find your happiness and let me find mine. We just are not meant for each other but know, no matter what, I do care about you.”
Reading over what she just typed causes her tears to flow and trickle down her cheeks making her skin itch. It is a mixed up confused message but she has no other way of explaining her feelings, so she leaves the note as is. She feels as if she loves him and does not want him to go, but to be honest with herself in what she needs to do, she knows the words she typed are as true as the wind. Nadja taps send on her phone and the message processes.
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